Hey there! So, sometimes I submit stories to various people, in the hope that I will receive money and Increased Visibility by so doing. It may sound sordid, but it is actually quite good fun, and I now recommend it as a health-tonic to those in my circle of acquaintances who seem to have lost the old pep. Anyway, the nice people at Eggplant Literary Productions agreed to pay me in exchange for a piece I wrote for their Miscellanea: A Transdimensional Library. This was (we are getting to the explanation for that “was”) a splendid project, a collection of excerpts from non-existent books, and thus exactly the sort of thing I want in on.
Alas, Eggplant Literary Productions has shut its doors. I received a very nice e-mail from the editor, explaining that I was now released, and that I should consider my payment as a “kill fee.” Sinister words, but it seems to mean that I get to keep the money AND retain rights to my piece. Anyway, my piece is entitled The Secret of Wormwood Abbey; it is a Table of Contents and a List of Illustrations; taken together, I believe they tell a story. I have gussied them up a bit, and I now hand them over to you, my Seven Delightful Subscribers and my Also-Delightful Non-Subscribers, in the hope that you will be Entertained thereby.
Here they are, then: