Ah, Sunday. Hello, blog post! Hello, Internet! Also? Hello, slightly better weather than yesterday! It is week nope-no-idea of lockdown, and things at Atherton Court have been going really well. I am going to tell you all about what we’ve been up to, but be warned! I’ve decided to try a slightly different posting style today; we’ll see how it goes. The plan is to be more concise than usual.
On with the experiment!
A Contactless Mother’s Day
Today, I placed a batch of mushroom ketchup, tied fetchingly in ribbon, on the porch of my parents’ house. I hope this will be understood as a gift, and not, say, as a rinsed-out olive jar half-full of brown sludgy liquid. Because, I mean, it totally is both of these things. The ribbon ought to help, interpretation-wise. Also, I made a fancy label.
It is funny, interacting with porches, not people. I feel like a cat, leaving things on doormats for people to find. Though, I mean, my gift has been pretty thoroughly cleaned, which you can’t really say about a cat’s verminous tributes.
Alec is almost finished converting the basement from a mold-ridden horror to a space that it will actually make sense to store things in. Even things that we like, and wish to use again. No longer will putting things in the basement be rather like consigning them to the deep. No sir! We are going to have a proper basement. There is even talk of installing a gaming table down there. Which would be neat.
The Worst Hedge
On sunny days, Alec can generally be found outside, ripping out the firethorn hedges some former owner thought would be a great defensive perimeter for our property.
The Squirrel Feeder
I have developed a deep interest in my neighbor’s bird feeder. Because, look. It isn’t a bird feeder. It is a squirrel feeder. It has been designed not to feed squirrels, and, I imagine, designed fairly intelligently. It has been placed such that squirrels shouldn’t be able to get at it. And yet, every time I look out of my kitchen window, I see squirrels hanging off of the thing like psychotic little acrobats, while several birds look on, possibly in disgust.
I just wrote a new story. This is a big deal, because I’ve been a little bit blocked of late. So, huzzah! I am not going to tell you about the story itself, but I will show you the weird doodle I made in my notebook while I was working on it. Here it is:
I write all my first drafts longhand in a notebook. Or all of my fiction, anyway. I use one side of the page for the draft, and the other side for notes, edits, revisions, ramblings, research, and, of course, doodles.
And now, movies!
Do you kind of want to watch Predator, only you’ve already seen it? Dog Soldiers to the rescue! A fun (where “fun” is defined as “gripping”) werewolf movie in which the werewolves are in a pack (why that is unusual, I don’t know, but it is) and the victim pool consists mainly of professional soldiers.
I’d never seen Species before. Because the last time Alec tried to show me Species, I saw the first part of the first scene and then went on strike. I couldn’t get over the fact that they were going to gas a little girl.
This time, I saw the whole thing, and I liked it a lot. And it turns out that the little girl is a really terrifying space alien, who was being gassed not because people were mean, but for the good of the planet. Anyway, yes. Species is a cool movie. Mostly, it is about a terrifying space alien’s search for booty, and about the team of specialists following her around trying to prevent her from getting any.
I love that aspect of this movie best: the pursuit. The team of specialists is perpetually about ten minutes behind the murderously horny alien. If horny is actually the right word. She wants, she states clearly and at awkward moments, a baby.
Right. That is the other really great part of the movie. The awkwardness of the alien’s pillow talk.
Atherton Signs Off
That’s it for this week, folks! Have you done any home improving during the lockdown? If you write, do you write longhand? Have you become really, really interested in squirrels lately? Or birds? I get really excited about birds nowadays. And I now have a plant-identifying app on my phone, because I am also excited about plants. Do you doodle? Have you seen Species? Dog Soldiers? If so, what did you think?